Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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