I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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