Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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