Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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