And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
