The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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