you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This is the high leading the old right now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
