If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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