I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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