Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
