I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
...so i touched it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
