i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
