Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
