new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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