Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
