I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
