we're blogging at a bar
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
