boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
