the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
