why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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