Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize