Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
