Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
