I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Houston, we have a blender
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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