think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
