Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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