i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
