ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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