People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
