just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
