Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
