stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
