You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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