I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think brook has ever known best
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
