Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
