Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
