remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
