"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
