my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
