My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
