I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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