he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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