Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
