I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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