Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So much rum. So many feels.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
