Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
