I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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