I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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