we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
