Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
