my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
