Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I cannot find my penis.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
