well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
